My Russell,
You are so precious to me, as sweet as can be, my little boy. I'm so glad God chose me to be your mama.
Watching you grow up this past year has been the best year of my life. Your daddy and I have so much fun watching you laugh, explore, eat dirt...sorry!, dance to music, use your voice, and look at the world around you in wonder. You are so brave and courageous for such a little guy. Russell, you already have such a connection with Jesus. When we mention his name you smile, and it seems you know Him. I hope you do.
This is a place where I have written letters to Dad, and I hope to get better about writing letters to you too.
Today was a good day with you. We snuggled in your room and read a story this morning. It's funny, we always get about halfway through the story and you want to turn over the book to look at the back cover or the front. I think you recognize the characters from the cover in the story. After that we ate some breakfast. You are tricky little boy! Right now, you only like to eat things on your terms. No scooping food into your mouth! Hopefully one day, we look back and laugh because you eat more than cheese and crackers. Haha! You took a nap in the morning and woke up when Dad came home for lunch from work. It's so nice that he gets to come play with you in the middle of the day. Today we played trains.
Penny and Chip came over in the afternoon. They are good buddies for you! We played a little outside, and you swung on the swing-set. Then we all came inside and played with blocks, your new piano you got for Christmas and the kitchen set. It's fun to watch you playing more and more. How crazy that this time last year, we were figuring out how to change a diaper and trying to find your pacifiers all the time. Now you go potty like a big boy and walk around curious about everything. Its amazing and fun to see.
I am terrible at keeping track of memories so hopefully I can get better and write them here. Here are some of my favorite memories of you, Russell.
The first night you came home from the hospital, you were so new and getting used to being in the world. We played calming music and tried to focus on being calm so you would feel calm too. We made up a song and it calmed you down. It went, "You're my boy, you're my joy, you're my boy joy, Russell." over and over.... :) I sang mama loves you and we would walk around the house with you. One of my favorite songs is one I discovered right after you were born by J.J. Heller. It is so true to me, and I love holding you and dancing to it.
"When I hold you
In my arms, love
Somethin' changes
It's the strangest feeling
The things thatUse to matter
They don't matter
To me
When I see you
And you're smilin'
How my heart aches
So full it is about to break
You make me believe in love
I could never count all the ways
That you change me, baby
Everyday the sky is a deeper shade of blue
When I'm with you
When I hear youAnd you're cryin'
It resonates, dear
In a place I didn't know was there
You make me believe in love
I could never count all the ways
That you change me, baby
Everyday the sky is a deeper shade of blue
When I'm with you
Beautiful, baby
You're sweeter than strawberry pie
Just like the morning
Your smile brings the sun that shines
I could never count all the ways
That you change me, baby
Everyday the sky is a deeper shade of blue
When I'm with youI could never count all the ways
That you change me, baby
Everyday the sky is a deeper shade of blue
When I'm with you"
Another one of my favorite memories is singing with you when you were so so little and you cooing along with me. You are so bright and have always been. You mimicked me from such a young age and it was so sweet.
I remember wondering who you would be when you were in my belly. I didn't even know you were a boy! (The funny thing is, sometimes I would pray for you in my journal and write he/him. I guess my heart knew!) I prayed God would knit you together just as He wanted. I prayed some of the same prayers I pray for you still. I prayed you would be gentle and kind and wild and strong. I prayed you would be loyal and loving and rascally and silly. I prayed you would be confident, humble, forgiving, and empathetic. I think you are all of those wonderful things sweet boy and more. I love watching you grow up. Knowing you, seeing your heart and personality is so fun and so wonderful.
I love you Russell boy. I am so proud of you and thankful to be your mama.
Love,
Momma
