Lord,
Thank you for loving me just as I am. Right now I pray for James, that he would trust you more today than ever. Lord, I also pray that I would trust you more than ever. For many reasons this seems like a heavy time. I have had lots of flashbacks from the past, some good, some bad, some consuming, others confusing, and I just want a lot of them to go away. Lord, I pray that I would look to you during these times, that I would not doubt your power and presence even for a second, and I would let my love for you trample the thoughts, fears, questions, and insecurities I have. Lord, I also pray that you would help me pursue you daily with great tenacity. The fact that you pursue me every moment of my life is something I wonder about a lot. Thank you for the moments I feel pursued by you and for loving me every moment of my existence. Lord, let me be a light for you. Let me become obsessed for and over you. You deserve it. More than anything else. Lord I pray that my love for you would also help me love James better. I pray it would give me a joyful heart. Let me not pursue you out of selfishness though, but genuine love and the knowledge that you completely deserve everything I have. Let me be a servant leader. Let me love you well, stand up for you, tell others about you and surrender everything in my life to you. Lord, surrendering is a daily need as I continue living in this world and sometimes holding onto the fleeting parts of it. Lord, everything you have given me is a gift. Everything I have experienced is a chance for me to look to you and see your faithfulness, even if it wasn't the way I had planned. Lord, I hope I have followed the plan you have for my life, and for the times I haven't followed it the way you would like, I pray that you would forgive me and have grace upon my life. Lord, I know I am undeserving. Help me to see you clearly. Thank you for loving me, a sinner so in need of you its unbelievable, and cleansing me because of your son Jesus. I love you Lord.
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