Merry Christmas Buddy

I love you jimmy! Thankful for you and happy you are my favorite gift. :)

#10 a prayer

Lord,

Thank you for loving me just as I am. Right now I pray for James, that he would trust you more today than ever.  Lord, I also pray that I would trust you more than ever.  For many reasons this seems like a heavy time.  I have had lots of flashbacks from the past, some good, some bad, some consuming, others confusing, and I just want a lot of them to go away.  Lord, I pray that I would look to you during these times, that I would not doubt your power and presence even for a second, and I would let my love for you trample the thoughts, fears, questions, and insecurities I have.  Lord, I also pray that you would help me pursue you daily with great tenacity.  The fact that you pursue me every moment of my life is something I wonder about a lot.  Thank you for the moments I feel pursued by you and for loving me every moment of my existence.  Lord, let me be a light for you.  Let me become obsessed for and over you.  You deserve it.  More than anything else.  Lord I pray that my love for you would also help me love James better.  I pray it would give me a joyful heart.  Let me not pursue you out of selfishness though, but genuine love and the knowledge that you completely deserve everything I have.  Let me be a servant leader.  Let me love you well, stand up for you, tell others about you and surrender everything in my life to you.  Lord, surrendering is a daily need as I continue living in this world and sometimes holding onto the fleeting parts of it.  Lord, everything you have given me is a gift.  Everything I have experienced is a chance for me to look to you and see your faithfulness, even if it wasn't the way I had planned.  Lord, I hope I have followed the plan you have for my life, and for the times I haven't followed it the way you would like, I pray that you would forgive me and have grace upon my life.  Lord, I know I am undeserving.  Help me to see you clearly.  Thank you for loving me, a sinner so in need of you its unbelievable, and cleansing me because of your son Jesus.  I love you Lord.

# 9

Hey Buddy,

I love you today.  I have been thinking about how blessed I am by you today.  You bless me in so many ways.  Thank you for wanting me.  Thank you for loving me.

When I got in the car accident on Friday, I remember right after just wanting you.  I didn't want to call anyone else. Just you.  Babe, you are my one and only forever, my best friend, the one who sees me at  my worst and still loves me, and the person in my life who it would be truly TRULY hard to live without.  I hope you know how important to me you are.  I'm sorry about the car, and I am glad you responded the way you did to me about it.  Thank you for being gracious, for caring about me, and not making me feel like a failure.  I really appreciate that.  Plus, the hedgehog is pretty neat. :)

I know you are not very content in your job right now and sometimes it is really, really hard, but I want you to know that I am proud of you.  I am proud that you are my husband.  I am proud that you carry the Holy Spirit with you daily.  I am proud that you work with integrity and an admirable work ethic, even when your tasks are mundane.  I am proud that you treat those around you with kindness and look at them as people the Lord loves and wants.  Thank you for praying with and for me.  Thank you for genuinely loving God even when it is really hard.  Thank you for worshiping with me and sharing your contagious faith.  You are truly the best gift and I am so glad you chose me as your wife.

I love you.

Thanks for making me smile and laugh everyday. :)

# 8

Hey Buddy,

Thanks for loving me everyday even when I'm a pain.  I'm sorry I have been weird lately.  I've been thinking a lot about how every change I go through from now on, you're going to be a part of in some way.  Same for you, every change you go through, I will be there with you.  Though I don't think I'm changing drastically, it is still nice to know you have loved me even when I'm different.

I hope you know how much I love you.  I know sometimes I don't show it and sometimes I just need to be alone to process things.   Hopefully I can find a good balance.

I love you.

#7

Hey Jimmy,

I love you today.  It's crazy how I feel more connected to you and more in love with you everyday.  Thank you for helping me work through things and not completely shutting me down when I am upset.  I like knowing that regardless of how we are both feeling at the time, we are both on each others team.

I've started doing my student teaching at middle school now and it is so much different already.  My teacher is organized and has a vision for the students and I love it!  I'm still trying to see how I fit in, haha!  It was easier just to take over the other class.

I've been praying a lot for a deeper connection with the Lord, and what keeps coming to mind is the analogy of the wheel.  How whenever we may feel distant from the Lord or in the mud of life, He is still close to us, connected and pursuing us.

I love you buddy. :)

#6

hey buddy,

i thought a lot about you today.  i thought a lot about the unconditional love you show me so often.  thank you. thank you for coming back to the table to work things out.  thank you for assuming the best of others and encouraging me to do so too.  thank you for helping me when i am in the wrong see that i can be wrong and still loved. i would rather have the love than be right anyway.

we have been married for 70 days today, and i have fallen so much in love with you throughout those days.  you have shown me how much of a man you are, put me first, and loved me when i am really hard to love.  thank you for being concerned with my heart.  thank you for praying with me everyday.  thank you for making me breakfast, that i usually fight not to eat. i am sorry.  i'll try better.

i love you james leach, with everything i have.  i pray to be a noble wife for you.

Lord, Jesus,

Help me to be the wife you want me to be, not the wife you just will me to be.  You have given me the chance and opportunity to love someone, encourage them daily, and spend my life with.  Please help me not to take that for granted, and thank you for it daily.  Lord, thank you for James.  Help him to continue to grow in you, in wisdom and faith.  Help me to encourage him daily.  Help me to find more of my security and confidence in you.  Help me to love him as you do

#5

hey buddy,

i love you.  really, my heart doesn't love anything else the way it loves you.  the Lord has given me the best, and for that i am thankful.
thank you for hearing me.  thank you for listening to the words and asking about the heart behind it.
i'm sorry for the times i am selfish, and easily over emotional.  i try not to be. i often fail.  thanks for helping me climb out of those pits when i am in them.
i feel the lord at work in my heart these days.  i have felt a distance closing, and softening of my heart.  he is showing me grace, and bringing me back close to him even though i often push him away with distractions.  it's so dumb.  i am able to talk with my creator, the one who loves me more than anyone else can, and i choose other dumb things like seeing if anyone did anything on facebook instead. nope, its just another candycrush invite.  great use of time... and yet he doesn't stop coming after me.
thank you for helping me pursue the Lord.  thank you for being honest with me, and letting me know i am not alone.  i want to grow, and i want to grow together.  i'm thankful the lord let me have you as a race partner.  i want to learn more about what running this race looks like.  sometimes i look back at things i have or haven't done and get so down.  it's times like these i have to remember the true gospel, and that the lord takes my failures as his own. wow. i am so undeserving.
i kinda feel like i wrote this on the wrong blog, it probably should have been my blog to God.  it's my heart though, and i want to share that with you.

i love you.

rach

#4

A letter I wrote you in Kentucky. :)

January 1, 2014

Dear Jimmy,

It is a new year!  I wonder what this year will bring. Crazy too look back over this past year and just see how much has gone on and what God has brought us through both together and a part.

James, I really like how my heart feels when I think about you.  You have such a kind and encouraging presence, and I really like being around you.  I love you and I like you.  That's good. haha:)

Today I am in Louisville and it feels really great to be back in the place where I really saw God do a lot of work in my heart and transform me a lot.  It is cool because so many memories of starting to talk to you again, and really seeing how the Lord was changing and growing you come to mind too.  Today wasn't anything crazy, but I kind of like that about being here.  I woke up this morning and had french toast and then went up to this parking lot where Joseph and Jude were riding bikes.  Joseph is so good at the two-wheeler!
It made me think of my first time riding a two wheeler...
>>So that leads me to a random fact about me...I have always loved doing outdoor things.  At three I learned how to ride a two-wheeler and roller blade.  I think I was the smallest kid in the neighborhood haha!  One of my first memories is having this family movie night where all of my siblings and parents were laying down in the family room on a big blanket, and I decided to go out into the garage and roller skate.  I remember choosing my dad's skates out of all of them because I liked the color.  They were black, teal, and purple.  I remember going around the garage in them probably not in the most graceful fashion.  I have always been kind of a daring kid.  One time when I got a really good pair of hand-me-down roller skates I used them to jump the wide stairs at my neighbors house.  This was more around the time I was eight though. I would go up to my friend Mrs. Lowery's house and talk to her on her porch for a while, and then jump her stairs on my way home.  I need to tell you about Mrs. Lowery sometime.  Maybe not in this letter since it is getting a bit long haha! but she was really a big part of my life growing up.  I think it's so weird to think about the things we remember.  It is weird to think that Joseph and Jude will forget so much of this time in their lives, but they may also remember little random bits like that too.<<
Back to Louisville thought.
Jessie took Jude home to get a snack so Joseph and I stayed and rode some more.  It is so fun talking with Joseph and getting to hear his heart.

Haha!  We were talking about  roller coasters and he started talking about how he is going to make a roller coaster one day called the "Holy Spirit" and it is going to be "crazy fast."  He also talked about going to church and seeing the "activity set" with Joseph, Mary, and shepherds.  :)  Then we went home and he actually started explaining all of his planes and their controls.  He said, "Aunt Rach when I grow up, I don't want to be a football player or anything.  I want to be a pilot."  He has a lot of direction in his life for a four year old! ha!

I went walking while they all took naps and it was a really good time of reflection and time with God.  Sometimes I get kind of frustrated with myself because I have so much time to spend with Him, and half the time I forget to talk to Him.  It is nice to remember that He is glorified when I am enjoying the earth He created, the body He gave me, and thankful.

Well, I think you have heard enough about my day. haha!  I hope that you are writing things down and documenting your time in New Zealand because I want to hear what you are doing and learning too!  I really miss you so much, and think about you all the time.  I know it is not that long to be a part but it feels like a LONG time to be a part! haha

I love you so much James.

Rach

P.S.  Something I love about you...
I love that you really seem comfortable in your own skin.  What I mean is that I think you have a pretty good idea of who you are, and you are not trying to be anybody else.  When you look to grow it is for the Lord and not for men.  I really love that.  I also like that you have a good balance between cocky and confident.  You are confident in who you are, but you are also not cocky and hard to be around or thinking the whole world revolves around you.  I think you make a lot of people feel comfortable because of that.  :)

#3

A prayer I wrote in Kentucky...

1.1.13

Lord,  

I pray that you would use this new year to draw me closer to you and always give me a clear head, heart, and mind to realize it is not about me.  It is about YOU. Your glory.  Your presence being made known.  It is interesting.  Sometimes I think fresh starts can be really great and come with positive potential, and other times I feel scared of them like its just a let down waiting to happen.  I think that's why we need to constantly seek our joy and fulfillment in you because the truth is we will always fail in one way or another but the love of you LORD never fails.  THANK YOU for that.  Help me to remember that truth when it is hardest to do.  Help me to remember I never take a day off with you, and that is for my good.  
Lord, you love, your power, your desire is amazing and I thank you for even wanting us to know you and desiring that relationship with us.  Please don't let me take it for granted.  I love you Lord.  I lift up my heart to you.
Please bless James in his time in New Zealand right now.  Lord, I pray that you would be growing in his life and he would be able to see you clearly.  I pray he would live his life with purpose and desire to seek you more everyday.  Help him to crave your word because I know how easily it can be to forget how life breathing and essential your word is.  Help us both to grow in discipline spiritually and physically.  Thank you Lord for making James into the man you want him to be, and making him a strong spiritual leader.  I pray he would continue to challenge me in ways that draw me closer to you.  I love you Lord.  Thank you for loving James, and choosing him to be one of you soldiers too.  :)

Forever and Always...
Rachel Ann

#2

Hi Jimmy, :) 

Well, my computer died the first night I was at Jessie and Jeremy's house in Louisville, but that doesn't mean I didn't write you some letters and think about you a TON to say the least !

I guess this means I'll just have to do a few in a row on here, which I don't mind because I like writing them to you.

I really prayed for you a lot this week, and just your overall well-being.  I know I just talked to you and you said that you are really having a tough time with your knee.  

Lord, Dad,

I pray right now for James.  I pray that he would just feel the pain in leg cease, and that he would be able to rest it while still enjoying his time there in New Zealand.  Lord, please let it not be anything too serious, and let it be fully restored.  Lord, I pray for James' health both physically and spiritually.  I pray that you would help him fill his body, his temple with good things and things that are glorifying to you.  Lord, let him not take his health for granted.  Please let him be healthy, active, and happy using the body you gave him to enjoy this world you created.  I also pray for him as he SKYDIVES... oh my gosh, and that he would be very alert and assertive when he is learning how.  I pray the guides would be in the right mindset, and that you would keep them all safe as they enjoy this time.  Help him to have so much fun, and remember these mountain top experiences he is having right now forever.  Thank you Lord for letting him experience YOU and experience YOUR creation.  Thank you for making it beautiful.  Thank you for hearing my prayer O Lord.  Thank you for drawing me closer to you through praying for and interacting with James.  Thank you for his heart for you.  Please continue to grow him into the man you desire him to be.  Please help him see the grace you have freely given him, and to continue moving forward in his pursuit of righteousness and biblical manhood.  I love you Lord.

#1

December 28, 2013

James Edward Leach,

So I decided that while you are gone, it would be fun to write you some letters.  Even though I can’t really send you mail since you’ll be moving around on your trip, I thought this would be a good way to talk and do something new.  So I was thinking maybe I could write you letters to tell you something new you may have never known about me like a memory, funny story, or something random, what is going on here in the “land up over,” J and what I’ve been learning about God/cool things I’ve read or seen/what I am learning.  So pretty much how I usually talk… because I feel like I always end up telling a story ha!

Well, today was a pretty good day.  I slept in kinda late since I didn’t go to bed until late last night.  I was actually up thinking about you flying for a while.   So woke up this morning and in order to put off cleaning my room, I went running.  (Can you  believe it? My room is messy. Ha.) Anyway running…Which turned into walking…wimpy! Haha! I went down to mainstreet where we saw those lights and ran through the trees at night when you came to St. Charles.  Thankfully it wasn’t as cold, and I actually got to wear shorts! Crazy!  I love going down there because you get to walk next to the river and it is so peaceful.  I saw this bike in the mud down by the river, and I wanted to look at it closer so I went down the bank and ended up getting all muddy, but it was pretty cool getting close to the river.  I can't wait until I can take you there or we can go to Cooper’s Landing again.  Anyway, then I went to a few antique stores and looked around.  I really love doing that. 

That can be my random thing of the day.  Sometimes when I get stressed out or just want alone time, I like to go to antique places and think about the people who once used those things everyday.  It is so fun!  I don’t have to buy anything, I really just like looking around.  Half the time I leave with a new idea for my future house. Haha!  But today I did get a globe! 

Something the Lord has been teaching me recently...It's weird.  I feel like my belief and trust in who God is has recently been really good.  Something I l looked at more closely recently is the book of Lamentations.  The author who I think is Jeremiah is telling his story of being persecuted, and feelings of being deserted by God.  He even says in 3:16-17, "He has broken my teeth with gravel; trampled me in the dust.  I have been deprived of peace, I have forgotten what prosperity is..."  He is REALLY DOWN.  I can relate in a small way because sometimes I just feel really down or like I have really distanced myself from God.  The best part about this chapter is vs. 21-25 where he says "Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope:  because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.  they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.  I say to myself, 'The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.'  The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him."  I am seeing how important it is to constantly be seeking the Lord's promises and CALLING on those truths.  Kinda like accessing the  lifeline He has given us. (shhhh... don't tell anyone but I may or may not have copied and pasted my facebook status from this. :)) haha

I love you buddy. :)

Love, 

Rachel

P.S.  Something I really like about you…

I love how you smile when  you are really happy about something.  And I like how you tell me you love me because I really believe it.  You don't just say it...you really make me feel like you love me more than anything else.